Section VI.
This Fair is no new-erected business, but a thing of antient standing;
I will shew you the original of it.
Almost five thousand years agone, there were Pilgrims walking to the
Coelestial City, as these two honest persons are; and Beelzebub, Apollyon, and
Legion, with their Companions, perceiving by the path that the Pilgrims made,
that their way to the City lay through this Town of Vanity, they contrived
here to set up a Fair; a Fair wherein should be sold all sorts of Vanity, and
that it should last all the year long: therefore at this Fair are all such
Merchandize sold, as Houses, Lands, Trades, Places, Honours, Preferments,
Titles, Countries, Kingdoms, Lusts, Pleasures, and Delights of all sorts, as
Whores, Bawds, Wives, Husbands, Children, Masters, Servants, Lives, Blood,
Bodies, Souls, Silver, Gold, Pearls, Precious Stones, and what not?
And moreover, at this Fair there is at all times to be seen Jugglings,
Cheats, Games, Plays, Fools, Apes, Knaves, and Rogues, and that of every kind.
Here are to be seen too, and that for nothing, Thefts, Murders,
Adulteries, false-swearers, and that of a blood-red colour.
And as in other Fairs of less moment, there are the several Rows and
Streets under their proper names, where such and such Wares are vended; so
here likewise you have the proper places, Rows, Streets, (viz. Countries and
Kingdoms) where the Wares of this Fair are soonest to be found: Here is the
Britain Row, the French Row, the Italian Row, the Spanish Row, the German Row,
where several sorts of Vanities are to be sold. But as in other Fairs, some
one commodity is as the chief of all the Fair, so the ware of Rome and her
Merchandize is greatly promoted in this Fair; only our English nation, with
some others, have taken a dislike thereat.
Now, as I said, the way to the Coelestial City lies just through this
Town where this lusty Fair is kept; and he that will go to City, and yet not
go through this Town, must needs go out of the world. The Prince of Princes
himself, when here, went through this Town to his own Country, and that upon a
Fair-day too; yea, and as I think, it was Beelzebub, the chief Lord of this
Fair, that invited him to buy of his Vanities: yea, would have made him Lord
of the Fair, would he but have done him reverence as he went through the Town.
Yea, because he was such a person of honour, Beelzebub had him from Street to
Street, and shewed him all the Kingdoms of the World in a little time, that he
might, (if possible) allure that Blessed One to cheapen and buy some of his
Vanities; but he had no mind to the Merchandize, and therefore left the Town,
without laying out so much as one Farthing upon these Vanities. This Fair
therefore is an antient thing, of long standing, and a very great Fair.
Now these Pilgrims, as I said, must needs go through this Fair. Well, so
they did; but behold, even as they entered into the Fair, all the people in
the Fair were moved, and the Town itself as it were in a hubbub about them;
and that for several reasons: for
First, The Pilgrims were cloathed with such kind of Raiment as was
diverse from the Raiment of any that traded in that Fair. The people therefore
of the Fair made a great gazing upon them: some said they were Fools, some
they were Bedlams, and some they are Outlandishmen.
Secondly, And as they wondered at their Apparel, so they did likewise at
their Speech; for few could understand what they said: they naturally spoke
the language of Canaan, but they that kept the Fair were the men of this
World; so that, from one end of the Fair to the other, they seemed Barbarians
each to the other.
Thirdly, But that which did not a little amuse the Merchandizers was,
that these Pilgrims set very light by all their Wares, they cared not so much
as to look upon them; and if they called upon them to buy, they would put
their fingers in their ears, and cry, Turn away mine eyes from beholding
Vanity, and look upwards, signifying that their trade and traffic was in
Heaven.
One chanced mockingly, beholding the carriages of the men, to say unto
them, What will ye buy? But they, looking gravely upon him, answered, We buy
the Truth. At that there was an occasion taken to despise the men the more;
some mocking, some taunting, some speaking reproachfully, and some calling
upon others to smite them. At last things came to a hubbub and great stir in
the Fair, insomuch that all order was confounded. Now was word presently
brought to the Great One of the Fair, who quickly came down and deputed some
of his most trusty friends to take those men into examination, about whom the
Fair was almost overturned. So the men were brought to examination; and they
that sat upon them, asked them whence they came, whither they went, and what
they did there in such an unusual Garb? The men told them that they were
Pilgrims and Strangers in the World, and that they were going to their own
Country, which was the Heavenly Jerusalem; and that they had given no occasion
to the men of the Town, nor yet to the Merchandizers, thus to abuse them, and
to let them in their Journey, except it was for that, when one asked them what
they would buy, they said they would buy the Truth. But they that were
appointed to examine them did not believe them to be any other than Bedlams
and Mad, or else such as came to put all things into a confusion in the Fair.
Therefore they took them and beat them, and besmeared them with dirt, and then
put them into the Cage, that they might be made a spectacle to all the men of
the Fair.
Behold Vanity Fair, the Pilgrims there
Are chained and stand beside:
Even so it was our Lord passed here,
And on Mount Calvary died.
There therefore they lay for some time, and were made the objects of any
man's sport, or malice, or revenge, the Great One of the Fair laughing still
at all that befell them. But the men being patient, and not rendering railing
for railing, but contrariwise blessing, and giving good words for bad, and
kindness for injuries done, some men in the Fair that were more observing, and
less prejudiced than the rest, began to check and blame the baser sort for
their continual abuses done by them to the men; they therefore in angry manner
let fly at them again, counting them as bad as the men in the Cage, and
telling them that they seemed confederates, and should be made partakers of
their misfortunes. The other replied, that for ought they could see, the men
were quiet, and sober, and intended nobody any harm; and that there were many
that traded in their Fair that were more worthy to be put into the Cage yea,
and Pillory too, than were the men that they had abused. Thus, after divers
words had passed on both sides, (the men behaving themselves all the while
very wisely and soberly before them) they fell to some blows among themselves,
and did harm to one another. Then were these two poor men brought before their
examiners again, and there charged as being guilty of the late hubbub that had
been in the Fair. So they beat them pitifully and hanged irons upon them, and
led them in chains up and down the Fair, for an example and a terror to
others, lest any should speak in their behalf, or join themselves unto them.
But Christian and Faithful behaved themselves yet more wisely, and received
the ignominy and shame that was cast upon them, with so much meekness and
patience, that it won to their side (though but few in comparison of the rest)
several of the men in the Fair. This put the other party yet into a greater
rage, insomuch that they concluded the death of these two men. Wherefore they
threatened, that the Cage, nor irons should serve their turn, but that they
should die, for the abuse they had done, and for deluding the men of the Fair.
Then were they re-manded to the Cage again, until further order should
be taken with them. So they put them in, and made their feet fast in the
Stocks.
Here also they called again to mind what they had heard from their
faithful friend Evangelist, and were the more confirmed in their way and
sufferings, by what he told them would happen to them. They also now comforted
each other, that whose lot it was to suffer, even he should have the best
on't; therefore each man secretly wished that he might have that preferment:
but committing themselves to the All-wise dispose of Him that ruleth all
things, with much content they abode in the condition in which they were,
until they should be otherwise disposed of.
Then a convenient time being appointed, they brought them forth to their
Tryal, in order to their condemnation. When the time was come, they were
brought before their enemies, and arraigned. The Judge's name was Lord
Hategood. Their Indictment was one and the same in substance, though somewhat
varying in form, the contents whereof was this:
That they were enemies to and disturbers of their Trade; that they had
made Commotions and Divisions in the Town, and had won a party to their own
most dangerous Opinions in contempt of the Law of their Prince.
Now Faithful play the Man, speak for thy God:
Fear not the wicked's malice, nor their rod:
Speak boldly man, the Truth is on thy side;
Die for it, and to Life in triumph ride.
Then Faithful began to answer, that he had only set himself against that
which had set itself against Him that is higher than the highest. And said he,
as for Disturbance, I make none, being myself a man of Peace; the parties that
were won to us, were won by beholding our Truth and Innocence, and they are
only turned from the worse to the better. And as to the King you talk of,
since he is Beelzebub, the enemy of Our Lord, I defy him and all his Angels.
Then Proclamation was made, that they that had ought to say for their
Lord the King against the Prisoner at the Bar, should forthwith appear and
give in their evidence. So there came in three witnesses, to wit, Envy,
Superstition, and Pickthank. They were then asked if they knew the Prisoner at
the Bar; and what they had to say for their Lord the King against him.
Then stood forth Envy, and said to this effect: My lord, I have known
this man a long time, and will attest upon my Oath before this honourable
Bench, that he is -
Judge. Hold! Give him his Oath.
So they sware him. Then he said, My Lord, this man, notwithstanding his
plausible name, is one of the vilest men in our Country. He neither regardeth
Prince nor People, Law nor Custom; but doth all that he can to possess all men
with certain of his disloyal notions, which he in the general calls Principles
of Faith and Holiness. And in particular, I heard him once myself affirm That
Christianity and the Customs of our Town of Vanity were diametrically
opposite, and could not be reconciled. By which saying, my Lord, he doth at
once not only condemn all our laudable doings, but us in the doing of them.
Judge. Then did the Judge say to him, Hast thou any more to say?
Envy. My Lord, I could say much more, only I would not be tedious to the
Court. Yet if need be, when the other Gentlemen have given in their Evidence,
rather than anything shall be wanting that will dispatch him, I will enlarge
my Testimony against him. So he was bid stand by.
Then they called Superstition, and bid him look upon the Prisoner. They
also asked, what he could say for their Lord the King against him? Then they
sware him; so he began:
Super. My Lord, I have no great acquaintance with this man, nor do I
desire to have further knowledge of him; however, this I know, that he is a
very pestilent fellow, from some discourse that the other day I had with him
in this Town; for then talking with him, I heard him say, That our Religion
was naught, and such by which a man could by no means please God. Which
sayings of his, my Lord, your Lordship very well knows, what necessarily
thence will follow, to wit, That we still do worship in vain, are yet in our
sins, and finally shall be damned; and this is that which I have to say.
Then was Pickthank sworn, and bid say what he knew, in behalf of their
Lord the King, against the Prisoner at the Bar.
Pick. My Lord, and you Gentlemen all, This fellow I have known of a long
time, and have heard him speak things that ought not to be spoke; for he hath
railed on our noble Prince Beelzebub, and hath spoken contemptibly of his
honourable Friends, whose names are the Lord Old Man, the Lord Carnal Delight,
the Lord Luxurious, the Lord Desire of Vain Glory, my old Lord Lechery, Sir
Having Greedy, with all the rest of our Nobility; and he hath said moreover,
That if all men were of his mind, if possible, there is not one of these Noble
men should have any longer a being in this Town; besides, he hath not been
afraid to rail on you, my Lord, who are now appointed to be his Judge, calling
you an ungodly villain, with many other such-like valifying terms, with
which he hath bespattered most of the Gentry of our Town.
When this Pickthank had told his tale, the Judge directed his speech to
the Prisoner at the Bar, saying, Thou Runagate, Heretick, and Traitor, hast
thou heard what these honest Gentlemen have witnessed against thee?
Faith. May I speak a few words in my own defence?
Judge. Sirrah, sirrah, thou deservedst to live no longer, but to be slain
immediately upon the place; yet that all men may see our gentleness towards
thee, let us see what thou hast to say.
Faith. 1. I say then, in answer to what Mr Envy hath spoken, I never said
ought but this, That what Rule, or Laws, or Customs, or People, were flat
against the Word of God, are diametrically opposite to Christianity. If I have
said amiss in this, convince me of my error, and I am ready here before you to
make my recantation.
2. As to the second, to wit, Mr Superstition, and his charge against me,
I said only this, That in the worship of God there is required a Divine Faith;
but there can be no Divine Faith without a Divine Revelation of the will of
God: therefore whatever is thrust into the Worship of God that is not
agreeable to Divine Revelation, cannot be done but by a human faith, which
faith will not be profit to Eternal Life.
3. As to what Mr Pickthank hath said, I say, (avoiding terms, as that I
am said to rail, and the like) that the Prince of this Town, with all the
rabblement his attendants, by this Gentleman named, are more fit for a being
in Hell, than in his Town and Country: and so, the Lord have mercy upon me.
Then the Judge called to the Jury (who all this while stood by, to hear
and observe) Gentlemen of the Jury, you see this man about whom so great an
uproar hath been made in this Town: you have also heard what these worthy
Gentlemen have witnessed against him: also you have heard his reply and
confession: It lieth now in your breasts to hang him, or save his life; but
yet I think meet to instruct you into our Law.
There was an Act made in the days of Pharaoh the Great, Servant to our
Prince, that lest those of a contrary Religion should multiply and grow too
strong for him, their Males should be thrown into the river. There was also an
Act made in the days of Nebuchadnezzar the Great, another of his Servants,
that whoever would not fall down and worship his Golden Image, should be
thrown into a Fiery Furnace. There was also an Act made in the days of Darius,
that whoso, for some time, called upon any God but him, should be cast into
the Lion's Den. Now the substance of these Laws this Rebel has broken, not
only in thought (which is not to be borne) but also in word and deed; which
must therefore needs be intolerable.
For that of Pharaoh, his Law was made upon a supposition, to prevent
mischief, na Crime being yet apparent; but here is a Crime apparent. For the
second and third, you see he disputeth against our Religion; and for the
Treason he hath confessed, he deserveth to die the death.
Then went the Jury out, whose names were, Mr Blindman, Mr No-good, Mr
Malice, Mr Love-lust, Mr Live-loose, Mr Heady, Mr High-mind, Mr Enmity,
Mr Lyar, Mr Cruelty, Mr Hate-light, and Mr Implacable; who every one gave in
his private Verdict against him among themselves, and afterwards unanimously
concluded to bring him in guilty before the Judge. And first among themselves,
Mr Blind-man the Foreman, said, I see clearly that this man is an Heretick.
Then said Mr Nogood, Away with such a fellow from the earth. Ay, said Mr
Malice, for I hate the very looks of him. Then said Mr Love-lust, I could
never endure him. Nor I, said Mr Live-loose, for he would always be
condemning my way. Hang him, hang him, said Mr Heady. A sorry Scrub, said Mr
High-mind. My heart riseth against him, said Mr Enmity. He is a Rogue, said
Mr Lyar. Hanging is too good for him, said Mr Cruelty. Let us dispatch him out
of the way, said Mr Hate-light. Then said Mr Implacable, Might I have all
the world given me, I could not be reconciled to him; therefore let us
forthwith bring him in guilty of death. And so they did; therefore he was
presently condemned to be had from the place where he was, to the place from
whence he came, and there to be put to the most cruel death that could be
invented.
They therefore brought him out, to do with him according to their Law;
and first they Scourged him, then they Buffeted him, then they Lanced his
flesh with Knives; after that they Stoned him with stones, then pricked him
with their Swords; and last of all they burned him to ashes at the Stake. Thus
came Faithful to his end.
Now I saw that there stood behind the multitude a Chariot and a couple of
Horses, waiting for Faithful, who (so soon as his adversaries had dispatched
him) was taken up into it, and straitway was carried up through the Clouds,
with sound of Trumpet, the nearest way to the Coelestial Gate.
Brave Faithful, bravely done in word and deed;
Judge, Witnesses, and Jury have, instead
Of overcoming thee, but shewn their rage:
When they are Dead, thou'lt Live from age to age.
But as for Christian, he had some respite, and was remanded back to
prison; so he there remained for a space: But he that over-rules all things,
having the power of their rage in his own hand, so wrought it about, that
Christian for that time escaped them, and went his way. And as he went he
sang, saying,
Well Faithful, thou hast faithfully profest
Unto thy Lord; with whom thou shalt be blest,
When faithless ones, with all their vain delights,
Are crying out under their hellish plights:
Sing, Faithful, sing, and let thy name survive;
For though they kill'd thee, thou art yet alive.
Now I saw in my Dream, that Christian went not forth alone, for there was
one whose name was Hopeful, (being made so by the beholding of Christian and
Faithful in their words and behaviour, in their sufferings at the Fair) who
joined himself unto him, and entering into a brotherly covenant, told him that
he would be his Companion. Thus one died to make Testimony to the Truth, and
another rises out of his ashes to be a Companion with Christian in his
Pilgrimage. This Hopeful also told Christian, that there were many more of the
men in the Fair that would take their time and follow after.
So I saw that quickly after they were go out of the Fair, they overtook
one that was going before them, whose name was By-ends: so they said to him,
What Country-man, Sir? and how far go you this way? He told them that he
came from the Town of Fair-speech, and he was going to the Coelestial City,
(but told them not his name.)
From Fair-speech, said Christian. Is there any good that lives there?
By-ends. Yes, said By-ends, I hope.
Chr. Pray Sir, what may I call you?
By-ends. I am a Stranger to you, and you to me: if you be going this
way, I shall be glad of your company; if not, I must be content.
Chr. This Town of Fair-speech, said Christian, I have heard of it, and,
as I remember, they say it's a wealthy place.
By-ends. Yes, I will assure you that it is; and I have very many rich
Kindred there.
Chr. Pray, who are your Kindred there? if a man may be so bold.
By-ends. Almost the whole Town; and in particular, my Lord Turn -
about, my Lord Time-server, my Lord Fair-speech, (from whose ancestors
that Town first took its name) also Mr Smooth-man, Mr Facing-both-ways,
Mr Anything; and the Parson of our Parish, Mr Two-tongues, was my Mother's
own Brother by Father's side; and to tell you the truth, I am become a
Gentleman of good Quality, yet my Great Grandfather was but a waterman,
looking one way and rowing another; and I got most of my estate by the same
occupation.
Chr. Are you a married man?
By-ends. Yes, and my Wife is a very virtuous woman, the Daughter of a
virtuous woman; she was my Lady Feigning's Daughter, therefore she came of a
very honourable Family, and is arrived to such a pitch of breeding, that she
knows how to carry it to all, even to Prince and Peasant. 'Tis true we
somewhat differ in Religion from those of the stricter sort, yet but in two
small points: First, we never strive against Wind and Tide: Secondly, we are
always most zealous when Religion goes in his Silver Slippers; we love much to
walk with him in the Street, if the Sun shines, and the people applaud him.
Then Christian stepped a little aside to his fellow Hopeful, saying, It
runs in my mind that this is one By-ends of Fair-speech, and if it be he, we
have as very a Knave in our company as dwelleth in all these parts. Then said
Hopeful, Ask him; methinks he should not be ashamed of his name. So Christian
came up with him again, and said, Sir, you talk as if you knew something more
than all the world doth; and if I take not my mark amiss, I deem I have half a
guess of you: Is not your name Mr. By-ends of Fair-speech?
By-ends. This is not my name, but indeed it is a nickname that is given
me by some that cannot abide me; and I must be content to bear it as a
reproach, as other good men have borne theirs before me.
Chr. But did you never give an occasion to men to call you by this name?
By-ends. Never, never! The worst that ever I did to give them an
occasion to give me this name, was, that I had always the luck to jump in my
Judgment with the present way of the times whatever it was, and my chance was
to get thereby; but if things are thus cast upon me, let me count them a
blessing, but let not the malicious load me therefore with reproach.
Chr. I thought indeed that you were the man that I heard of, and to tell
you what I think, I fear this name belongs to you more properly than you are
willing we should think it doth.
By-ends. Well, if you will thus imagine, I cannot help it; you shall
find me a fair company-keeper, if you will still admit me your associate.
Chr. If you will go with us, you must go against Wind and Tide, the
which, I perceive, is against your opinion; you must also own Religion in his
Rags, as well as when in his Silver Slippers, and stand by him too, when bound
in Irons, as well as when he walketh the Streets with applause.
By ends. You must not impose, nor lord it over my Faith; leave me to my
liberty, and let me go with you.
Chr. Not a step further, unless you will do in what I propound, as we.
Then said by-ends, I shall never desert my old Principles, since they
are harmless and profitable. If I may not go with you, I must do as I did
before you overtook me, even go by myself, until some overtake me that will be
glad of my company.
Now I saw in my Dream that Christian and Hopeful forsook him, and kept
their distance before him; but one of them looking back, saw three men
following Mr By-ends, and behold, as they came-up with him, he made them a
very low congee, and they also gave him a compliment. The men's names were Mr
Hold-the-world, Mr Money-love, and Mr Save-all; men that Mr By-ends had
formerly been acquainted with; for in their minority they were School-fellows,
and were taught by one Mr Gripe-man, a School-master in Love-gain, which is a
Market-town in the County of Coveting, in the North. This School-master
taught them the Art of Getting, either by violence, cousenage, flattery,
lying, or by putting on a guise of Religion; and these four Gentlemen had
attained much of the Art of their Master, so that they could each of them have
kept such a School themselves.
Well when they had, as I said, thus saluted each other, Mr Money-love
said to Mr By-ends, Who are they upon the Road before us? For Christian and
Hopeful were yet within view.
By ends. They are a couple of far country-men, that after their mode
are going on Pilgrimage.
Money-love. Alas! Why did they not stay, that we might have had their
good company? for they, and we, and you Sir, I hope are all going on a
Pilgrimage.
By-ends. We are so indeed; but the men before us are so rigid, and love
so much their own notions, and do also so lightly esteem the opinions of
others, that let a man be never so godly, yet if he jumps not with them in all
things, they thrust him quite out of their company.
Save-all. That's bad; but we read of some that are righteous overmuch;
and such men's rigidness prevails with them to judge and condemn all but
themselves. But I pray what, and how many, were the things wherein you
differed?
By-ends. Why they after their head-strong manner, conclude that it is
duty to rush on their Journey all weathers, and I am for waiting for Wind and
Tide. They are for hazarding all for God at a clap, and I am for taking all
advantages to secure my Life and Estate. They are for holding their notions,
though all other men are against them; but I am for Religion in what, and so
far as the times and my safety will bear it. They are for Religion when in
Rags and Contempt; but I am for him when he walks in his Golden Slippers in
the Sunshine, and with applause.
Hold-the-world. Ay, and hold you there still, good Mr By-ends; for
for my part I can count him but a Fool, that having the liberty to keep what
he has, shall be so unwise as to lose it. Let us be wise as Serpents; 'tis
best to make hay when the Sun shines; you see how the Bee lieth still all
winter, and bestirs her only when she can have Profit with Pleasure. God sends
sometimes Rain, and sometimes Sun-shine; if they be such fools to go through
the first, yet let us be content to take fair weather along with us. For my
part I like that Religion best that will stand with the security of God's good
blessings unto us; for who can imagine that is ruled by his Reason, since God
has bestowed upon us the good things of this Life, but that he would have us
keep them for his sake! Abraham and Solomon grew rich in Religion. And Job
says, that a good man shall lay up Gold as Dust. But he must not be such as
the men before us, if they be as you have described them.
Save-all. I think that we are all agreed in this matter, and therefore
there needs no more words about it.
Money-love. No, there needs no more words about this matter indeed; for
he that believes neither Scripture nor Reason (and you see we have both on our
side) neither knows his own liberty, nor seeks his own safety.
By-ends. My Brethren, we are, as you see, going all on Pilgrimage; and
for our better diversion from things that are bad, give me leave to propound
unto you this question: