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contain for me the key, the inspiration; the sight of it more than anything gave what I wanted (sometimes like a veritable lightning flash coming down from it on to my paper—I a mere witness, but agitated with strange transports).

But if I should be asked—as I have sometimes been asked—What is the exact nature of this mood, of this illuminant splendor, of which you speak? I should have to reply that I can give no answer. The whole of "Towards Democracy" is an endeavor to give it utterance; any mere single sentence, or direct definition, would be of no use—rather indeed would tend to obscure by limiting. All I can say is that there seems to be a vision possible to man, as from some more universal standpoint, free from the obscurity and localism which specially connect themselves with the passing clouds of desire, fear, and all ordinary thought and emotion; in that sense another and separate faculty; and a vision always means a sense of light, so here is a sense of inward light, unconnected of course with the mortal eye, but bringing to the eye of the mind the impression that it sees, and by means of the medium which washes, as it were, the interior surfaces of all objects and things and persons—how can I express it? And yet this is most defective, for the sense is a sense that one is those objects and things and persons that one perceives (and the whole universe)—a sense in which sight and touch and hearing are all fused in identity. Nor can the matter be understood without realizing that the whole faculty is deeply and intimately rooted in the ultra-moral and emotional nature, and beyond the thought-region of the brain.

And now with regard to the "I" which occurs so freely in this book. In this and in other such cases the author is naturally liable to a charge of egotism, and I personally do not feel disposed to combat any such charge that may be made. That there are mere egotism and vanity embodied in these pages I do not for a moment doubt, and that so far as they exist they mar the expression and purpose of the book I also do not doubt. But the existence of these things do not affect the real question: What or who in the main is the "I" spoken of?

To this question I must also frankly own that I can give no answer. I do not know. That the word is not used in the dramatic sense is all I can say. The "I" is myself, as well as I could find words to express myself; but what that self is and what its limits may be—and therefore what the self of any other person is and what its limits may be—I cannot tell. I have sometimes thought that perhaps the best work one could do—if one felt at any time enlargements and extensions of one's ego—was to simply record these as faithfully as might be, leaving others—the scientist and the philosopher—to explain, and feeling confident that what really existed in oneself would be found to exist either consciously or in a latent form in other people. And I will say that I have in these records above all endeavored to be genuine. If I have said "I, Nature," it was because at the time, at any rate, I felt "I, Nature"; If I have said "I am equal with the lowest," it was because I could not express what I felt more directly than by those words. The value of such statements can only appear by time; if they are corroborated by others, then they help to form a body of record which may well be worth investigation, analysis and explanation. If they are not so corroborated, then they naturally and

properly fall away as mere vagaries of self-deception. I have not the least doubt that anything which is really genuine will be corroborated. It seems to me more and more clear that the word "I" has a practically infinite range of meaning—that the ego covers far more ground than we usually suppose. At some points we are intensely individual, at others intensely sympathetic; some of our impressions (as the tickling of a hair) are of the most momentary character, others (as the sense of identity) involve long periods of time. Sometimes we are aware of almost a fusion between our own identity and that of another person. What does all this mean? Are we really separate individuals, or is individuality an illusion, or, again, is it only a part of the ego or soul that is individual and not the whole? Is the ego absolutely one with the body, or is it only a part of the body, or again is the body but a part of the self—one of its organs, so to speak, and not the whole man? Or, lastly, is it perhaps not possible to express the truth by any direct use of these or other terms of ordinary language? Anyhow, what am I?

These are questions which come all down Time, demanding solution—which humanity is constantly endeavoring to find an answer to. I do not pretend to answer them. On the contrary I am sure that not one of the pieces in "Towards Democracy" has been written with the view of providing an answer. They have simply been written to express feelings which insisted on being expressed. Nevertheless it is possible that some of them—by giving the experiences and affirmations even of one person—may contribute material towards that answer to these and the like questions which will one day most assuredly be given. That there is a region of consciousness removed beyond what we usually call mortality, into which we humans can yet pass, I practically do not doubt; but granting that this is a fact, its explanation still remains for investigation. I have said in these few notes on "Towards Democracy" nothing about the influence of Whitman—for the same reason that I have said nothing about the influence of the sun or the winds. These influences lie too far back and ramify too complexly to be traced. I met with William Rosetti's little selection from "Leaves of Grass" in 1868 or 1869, and read that and the original editions continuously for ten years. I never met with any other book (with the exception perhaps of Beethoven's sonatas) which I could read and re-read as I could this one. I find it difficult to imagine what my life would have been without it. "Leaves of Grass" "filtered and fiber’d" my blood; but I do not think I ever tried to imitate it or its style. Against the inevitable drift out of the more classic forms of verse into a looser and freer rhythm I fairly fought, contesting the ground ("kicking against the pricks") inch by inch during a period of seven years in numerous abortive and mongrel creations—till in 1881 I was finally compelled into the form (if such it can be called) of "Towards Democracy." I did not adopt it because it was an approximation to the form of "Leaves of Grass." Whatever resemblance there may be between the rhythm, style, thoughts, construction, etc., of the two books, must, I think, be set down to a deeper similarity of emotional atmosphere and intention in the two authors—even though that similarity may have sprung and no doubt largely did spring out of the personal influence of one upon the other.

Anyhow our temperaments, standpoints, antecedents, etc., are so entirely diverse and opposite that, except for a few points, I can hardly imagine that there is much real resemblance to be traced. Whitman's full-blooded, copious, rank, masculine style must always make him one of the world's great originals—a perennial fountain of health and strength, moral as well as physical. He has the amplitude of the Earth itself, and can no more be thought away than a mountain can. He often indeed reminds me of a great quarry on a mountain side—the great shafts of sunlight and the shadows, the primitive face of the rock itself, the power and the daring of the men at work upon it, the tumbled blocks and masses, materials for endless buildings and the beautiful tufts of weed or flower on inaccessible ledges—a picture most artistic in its very incoherence and formlessness. "Towards Democracy" has a milder radiance, as of the moon compared with the sun—allowing you to glimpse the stars behind. Tender and meditative, less resolute and altogether less massive, it has the quality of the fluid and yielding air rather than of the solid and uncompromising earth.

All the above passages from the writings of Edward Carpenter are to be looked upon as utterances of the self conscious mind about Cosmic Consciousness. In "Towards Democracy" it must be understood that the Cosmic Sense itself speaks; sometimes about itself, sometimes about nature, man, etc., from the point of view of itself. As for instance:

Lo! What mortal eye hath not seen nor ear heard—*
All sorrow finished—the deep, deep ocean of joy opening within—the surface sparkling.
The myriad-formed disclosed, each one and all, all things that are, transfigured—
Being filled with joy, hardly touching the ground, reaching cross-shaped with outstretched arms to the stars, along of the mountains and the forests, habitation of innumeral creatures, singing, joy unending—
As the sun on a dull morning breaking through the clouds—so from behind the sun another sun, from within the body another body—these shattered falling—
Lo! now at last or yet awhile in due time to behold that which ye have so long sought—
O eyes, no wonder you are intent [61: 200].

That day—the day of deliverance—shall come to you in what place you know not; it shall come but you know not the time.*

* A suggestion of what the Cosmic Sense shows him.

* As it came to him so shall it come to others.

In the pulpit while you are preaching* the sermon, behold! Suddenly the ties and bands—in the cradle, in the coffin, cerements and swathing-clothes—shall drop off;
In the prison One shall come; and the chains which are stronger than iron, the fetters harder than steel, shall dissolve—you shall go free forever.
In the sick room, amid life-long suffering and tears and weariness, there shall be a sound of wings—and you shall know that the end is near—
(O loved one arise, come gently with me—be not too eager—lest joy itself should undo you.)
In the field with the plow and the chain-harrow; by the side of your horse in the stall;
In the brothel amid indecency and idleness and repairing your and your companions’ dresses;
In the midst of fashionable life, in making and receiving morning calls, in idleness, and arranging knick-knacks in your drawing-room—even there who knows?
It shall duly, at the appointed hour, come [61: 231].

* Almost literally true of Las Casas.

There is no peace except where I am,* saith the Lord—
Though you have health—that which is called health—yet without me it is only the fair covering of disease;
Though you have love, yet if I be not between and around the lovers, is their love only torment and unrest;
Though you have wealth and friends and home—all these shall come and go—there is nothing stable or secure, which shall not be taken away. But I alone remain—I do not change,
As space spreads everywhere, and all things move and change within it, but it moves not nor changes,
So I am the space within the soul, of which the space without is but the similitude and mental image;
Comest thou to inhabit me, thou hast the entrance to all life—death shall no longer divide thee from whom thou lovest.
I am the sun that shines upon all creatures from within—gazest thou upon me thou shalt be filled with joy eternal.
Be not deceived. Soon this outer world shall drop off—thou shalt slough it away as a man sloughs his mortal body.
Learn even now to spread thy wings in that other world—the world of equality—to swim in the ocean, my child, of me and my love.
(Ah! have I not taught thee by the semblance of this outer world, by its alienations and deaths and mortal sufferings—all for this?
For joy, ah! joy unutterable!) [61:343–4].

* The Cosmic Sense speaks.

III.

SUMMARY.

a. Illumination occurred at the characteristic age—in the thirty-seventh year.

b. And in the characteristic season—in the spring.

c. There was a sense of "inward light," but not strictly the usual experience of subjective light.

d. There was the usual sudden intellectual illumination,

e. And the usual sudden moral elevation.

f. His life was absolutely governed henceforth by the new light that had dawned upon him—"it held his feet."

g. He lost, absolutely, upon illumination, the sense of sin.

h. He clearly saw himself to be immortal.

i. But the best proof of Cosmic Consciousness in his case is his description thereof, which could only be drawn (as he tells us it was) from his own experience.

Cosmic Consciousness: Part IV. Instances of Cosmic Consciousness: Chapter 14. Edward Carpenter | DeepTome | DeepTome